How do you stay poised, under control, level headed, when everything in you wants to just enjoy the moment? I don’t know. Do you allow yourself the freedom to get lost, to throw back your hair, and play in the moment? I’m not sure. I’m just discovering what that looks like… The adventurous side says… go for it. Let loose. But the wise part, my life experiences say to hold back and wait… Is that because I’m guarded? I don’t know. How do you define if one is guarded or not?

There is a duality I am struggling with… and yet wanting to do what is right above all else. Wanting to be obedient to what God is saying… in spite of my emotions. I know that God knows what I need, desire, and is important to me more than anyone or anything. So I trust Him in this. Wow even just writting it I’m already feeling better. I’m remembered of the song from camp… which happens to be a bible verse.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways ackowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

Thank you Jesus. I’m feeling Good!!!