I find myself more often than not getting so wrapped up in life that I forget to take a moment And enjoy that which rejuvinates me… One way i enjoy this is through times of solitude…life is so busy, between work, family, and relationships life gets pretty dang filled up, so after a long day at work or out and about running errands I love to come home, put on some pjs pour a glass of wine and read… Or watch a movie… This to me is paradise, it’s uninterrupted time all for me… Sounds great right? Well it is; or i should say it use to be. Im not sure if it’s because I’m becoming less selfish as I use to be; or if selfishness has anything to do with it…but the reality now is, I don’t like being alone and that frightens me a bit. It frightens me because I wonder why the shift? Is it a healthy shift? I’m not sure. I want to enjoy my time with that whom I love, and it’s not even having to talk; it’s just knowing that there is a sense of nearness. It’s hard to explain, partly because when I step back from the situation and see how quickly I’ve changed in this area it frightens me… I want to hold on to that independence of being alone… Enjoying the loneliness; but I don’t! I miss him every moment I’m not with him. Is this normal? Is it healthy? I’m fighting within myself to be independent when everything in me wants to let go. Oh God protect me from myself, holy spirit give me your eyes to see the pride in my life and also to see if an idol is being formed. I desire to be an obedient woman in whatever you ask of me, so I ask..”what would you require of me?” I love you Lord and direct me wherever you lead
